The Disaster Master
by GreenWithAwesome
Summary: Leo Valdez musters all the courage he has to ask Reyna out on a date, which, to his surprise, she accepts. Cue everything going wrong. Meanwhile, Reyna worries about her appearance and messing up. Leyna. Twoshot. Image by Jackie-lyn on dA.
1. Chapter 1

Hey y'all! GD here with the first part of a Leyna twoshot! I was going to write it as a oneshot but I really wanted to put this one out there! Not to mention bits of it have been sitting on my memory stick collecting dust.

As the summary states, this is full of Leyna and lulz. Hope you enjoy!

**=#=#=#=#=#=#=**

"I am… the _master_."

There was a short pause, before the boy in front of the mirror winked.

"I am completely, totally and utterly irresistible. Everybody loves a bad boy."

He combed through his clean, curly black hair.

"_My presence brings all the girls to the yard. And I'm like_, 'I've already got a date!'…"

He bit his lip.

"I'll have a new member on Team Leo at the end of tonight. Uh-huh."

Who was he kidding? Leo Valdez was a nervous wreck. For once in his life, he didn't smell of engine grease (although the temptation to tinker with a special washing machine he had been working on was so huge had had to get Piper to hide his tool belt), his hair was combed back neatly and he was dressed in formal coat and tie.

Tonight he was going out on his very first date ever. With Reyna.

He had been stuttering like a fool when he squeezed the words out of his mouth, and was also sweating so much the machine oil was running down like a waterfall. Reyna, at first, thought he was joking, and proceeded to challenge him to a duel for daring to humiliate her. You can tell how _that_ worked out.

Anyway, when she finally understood that he wasn't kidding around like he usually was and said yes, Leo had been edgy ever since.

He had to be cool and yet super hot at the same time. The hot part he had all figured out (well, literally more than anything else), but being cool wasn't in Leo's persona. He cracked jokes, messed around, and was generally so bad he was surprised Santa had ever given him any presents for Christmas.

Jason, Piper, Frank, Hazel, Percy and Annabeth had given him truckloads of invaluable advice. Since he had trekked all the way to Camp Jupiter, Frank had recommended the restaurant. Jason and Percy had told him how to handle himself with his special lady, which included the making of a very nifty checklist of things to do and say. Piper, Hazel and Annabeth had helped pick an outfit, dragging him to the shops and throwing all sorts of combinations on him until one stuck. Leo himself had written and memorised a ton of jokes to tell, and even Festus had whirred in encouragement. So, technically speaking, he was all set.

But definitely not mentally. No way. If Leo could escape and yell into the sunsets, he would.

He stared at his reflection with a little self-pity. He was wearing a loose black-white checked shirt with grey dress trousers, ironed so not a crinkle was in sight. Jason had lent him some lovely black loafers to go, too.

He clasped his hands together and took a deep breath.

"Hephaestus, help me now," Leo murmured, hoping his father would at least give him a little courage to see the night through. He sucked in his gut, standing firm, took one last look at himself with an approving nod, and swaggered out of the room.

"Gah, forgot my wallet!"

=#=#=#=

Reyna smoothed off her dress, standing in the _Via Principia_ and patiently waiting for her date to arrive. She wasn't nervous. She wasn't excited. She wasn't anything.

Alright, that's what her face said. Anyone who had asked if she was scared or nervous received an eyeful of _keep-out-of-my-business,_ but, truthfully, she was very uneasy. Reyna hadn't ever been on a date before, let alone with Leo Valdez.

She felt incredibly guilty about almost driving a spear through his shoulders when he had asked her out the first time, believing he was just mocking her and her dateless history. She scowled – it was very uncomfortable and highly embarrassing when Leo told her he was being serious. She was praetor – a position held by those who could actually understand what their underlings were talking about.

Still, Reyna hoped Leo liked purple. When she mentioned in passing to Hylla that she was going on a date, Hylla was here in less than a day, lugging with her an entire wardrobe for Reyna to choose from (hey, Amazonian women could have style too, you know). Reyna's favourite colour was, of course, purple, and she was Roman, so she went with the simple violet dress that fell to her ankles with black high heels and a matching bag. Her hair was pinned into a bun with a sparkly crocodile clip of some kind.

The daughters of Venus had helped with make-up, too, which made Reyna feel really fake and… prissy. It reminded her of her work at Circe's spa retreat. Still, they hadn't overdone it, so at least she didn't look like Dakota: overstated red lips from drinking too much Kool-Aid. On the whole, though, she felt very… unlike herself. It being only one night in a century that she had to look presentable, however, she allowed herself oddity of being dressed up.

The air was cool tonight, thankfully; Reyna didn't like the idea of taking a walk in the snow. The sun dimmed on the horizon and Reyna gulped: she hadn't been so ridiculously late that he just left, had she?

The girl shook her head vigorously, instantly regretting it because some of her black hairs fell out of place. She was nervous, not stupid. Leo had said to meet him here in the _Via Principia_ at seven so they could catch dinner within the Pomerian Line. That was how it was going to be. No more predicting awfulness.

But she couldn't resist glancing at her watch – it was two minutes past seven. Two minutes. Either he was running late or he had decided to abandon the date altogether. The thought was terrifying and embarrassing all at once.

Just as she was about to lose her head, Reyna heard the clack of shoes thud in a consistent quick pattern on the cobblestone steps behind her. She whipped around to see Leo Valdez, wearing an outfit that made him look totally endearing, screeching to a halt in front of her and pausing to take a long breath.

"Gah… ran… I'm still here… don't be mad…" he looked up, and the couple locked eyes for a second. Reyna could feel the heat rise to her face as she looked away and scowled.

"You're two minutes late," she pointed out callously.

Leo stood upright. He was now taller than her by quite a bit, and yet still managed to retain his childlike appearance that most people found cute. His hair as combed backed neatly and for some reason Reyna thought he looked older. The son of Hephaestus bit his lip before smirking.

"Well, I could have come on time… but then you would have had to pay for everything."

"… Oh, two minutes past seven, seven; what's the difference?" she corrected, dropping her praetor-like attitude and replacing it with relief. It would have been awkward and not to mention so _un_-gentlemanly if she had to pay for their meal alone, "I'm glad you decided to show, at least."

Leo grinned. Reyna's felt herself returning the smile, which was something only Leo could make her do. It was an odd sensation that she felt when he smiled – like her insides were melting. A good melting, obviously.

"Cool, shall we get going?" he held at her arm, waiting for her to take it. Reyna just stared.

"Yes, we should. We're already two minutes late," inside, Reyna panicked. What was she supposed to do? Take his hand? But then his arm would be at a completely awkward angle. Did she grasp it? But he was too tall! He'd have to bend down just so it was comfortable.

The couple just waited for each other, Leo sticking his arm out and looking akin to a broken robot and Reyna thinking very hard about how to let him take the lead.

"Um…" said Leo, "You're meant to hold it."

"I am aware," Reyna said, scrutinising the arm like it was an unknown species of monster, "I am just calculating how to hold it without it being uncomfortable and inelegant…"

"Oh," came his response, a little dumbstruck, "Well, maybe if I lower it-"

"No, no, that won't do. It would look childish."

"If I hold it higher-"

"You would look like a flightless chicken."

"Ah… how about I just…" he flopped his arm down to his side, "There. Now you take that hand and hold your bag in the other."

She did so. It was hardly noticeable and very comfortable. His hand, slightly clammy, was warm and soft like a baby's bottom. Her heart fuzzled inside her chest again, but she remained calm and collected on the outside.

"This is perfect; the correct way to hold the hands of a significant other."

Leo just laughed, "I think Frank and Hazel could do with lessons from us. C'mon, let's go!"

=#=#=#=

The couple had arrived three minutes later than Leo had predicted at the restaurant, _Nolita_. This was partly due to his lateness and partly due to the terms and conditions of the Pomeranian line. Terminus had almost not let them through – giving the excuse that Leo's wallet could be used as a weapon.

"What do you think I'm going to do? Lob it at someone?"

Terminus had huffed, "You could very well do so!"

"And then what? They'd just take my money and run!"

Thankfully, Reyna had a good influence over the god of boundaries (that, and she really, _really_ did not want to pay for the whole dinner), so, let them through with a passing remark and a grunt of disapproval.

Anyway, that was beside the point – they were behind schedule. Leo was completely aware how his date was fond of deadlines and being on time, and today, they were anything _but _on time. He had a plan all set out – he would meet her at seven, take approximately two minutes and thirty-five seconds to pass Terminus and arrive at the restaurant and then a twenty-two seconds to find their table and sit down (all calculated the days beforehand). Two minutes late collecting Reyna had ruined his perfect schedule and almost gutted his insides. Imagine what being three minutes late did to him.

Luckily, the waiter was a pro and knew immediately where their table was (well, that and Leo had also come here the day before, double-checking that he had actually _booked_ one), so the table-finding went down to thirteen seconds. This pleased Leo.

The restaurant itself was really frikkin' cool, in his opinion. Being a Portuguese restaurant, the cuisine was practically every meat you could find lathered in hot sauces. Leo hoped Reyna like Peri Peri. The dining areas made had a modern twists; carved moss-green wooden tables and matching steel high chairs, exotic plants in bulbous, decorated pots and the walls decorated with heaploads of South-African artworks. You could see the kitchen behind the brick and slate counter – the dishes being cooked in traditional stone ovens.

So Nolita was like a nicer, foreign and slightly more expensive version of McDonalds. This was good – it didn't burn a hole through his wallet.

Reyna sat down, inspecting the scene with her unreadable expressions. Leo sat opposite, trying and failing to understand whether or not she liked where he picked. The table was neatly ordained with spice shakers, menus and a single red rose in a thin, clear vase. That last one was his own doing.

"I haven't been here before…" she mumbled, mostly to herself. Score! One for Leo.

"That's good – I haven't either, so new experience for both of us!"

His date looked a little disappointed, "Oh, you haven't been here before? I was hoping you could order for the both of us." Minus one thousand for Leo.

He gulped, glancing down at the menu the waiter had left. Yep, just like he expected, everything was every meat in existence lathered in hot sauces. He peered warily back at Reyna, who had now turned her attention to the menu.

With a shrug, she began, "Oh, I don't really know what I like," she said, scanning the chicken-littered paper for something that wetted her appetite, "What on earth is _Peri Peri_?"

Leo smiled, "Oh, Peri Peri is hot sauce. Extreme Peri Peri is _peri_ hot sauce."

Nothing like a good joke to break the ice… but Reyna looked blanker than a sheet.

"Get it? _Peri_ hot sauce? _Very_ hot sauce?"

She still didn't react. Leo gulped; this was going to be harder than he thought, wooing the praetor of Camp Jupiter. He didn't want to say that his jokes were wasted on her, but sometimes she didn't find even the most hilarious things funny.

Then to his surprise, she smiled – like she was suppressing a giggle. Leo's insides burst with delight – SUCCESS! He had managed to brighten the day of Reyna. Even if only a little, Percy and Jason had told Leo to make sure she was happy, as the number one thing to do… and he'd just ticked that off his mental checklist.

"A funny play on words. Bad, but funny," Reyna said, glancing back on her menu now that she had been further educated using awful humour, "What would you suggest then?"

No time to bask in delight anymore. Leo had to pick something he thought his date would like.

Come to think about it, Leo hadn't exactly ever paid attention to what she _did_ like to eat. It was obvious that Reyna was so busy with her job as a praetor that she had never come to this specific restaurant to eat, of all the rotten luck. Heck, for all he knew she could pig out on Chinese takeaways every night. He was shooting in the dark when choosing the most important decision in his life, and he wanted to be in control.

"Do you like chicken?" he blurted before he could stop himself. He couldn't help it; half the menu was chicken. What if she was actually a vegetarian and he didn't catch on?

She nodded. Phew, Leo got lucky.

"Great, we can have this," he leaned over to her to point out a delicious looking half of a roast-chicken with sweet mash potato on the side, but ended up doing something much worse than choosing a dish.

He tipped the vase over.

Reyna yelped as it shattered, littering her menu with broken glass. The crystal clear water spilt everywhere, dampening the menu, her napkins and her dress. Luckily, the worst had been taken by the menu and napkin.

Leo had no words, except the rude ones that could only berate his stupidity. How could he have been so careless as to fling his arm out so inelegantly when it would have been perfectly acceptable to read the dish number instead?

He jumped up, shaking his hands in a jazzy fashion and squeaked, "I'm so sorry, Reyna!"

=#=#=#=

Well this date had been successful so far. First they were late to the restaurant and now her outfit was ruined.

Reyna cringed as the water tainted her violet dress and turning it into a darker colour. She hadn't had to worst of it, thank Bellona, but still enough to make it look like she couldn't hold her own bladder.

"It's alright," she said eventually, grabbing Leo's napkin without much thought and trying to wipe herself down. It wasn't as successful as she hoped. Leo joined in too, flinging himself to the nearby cutlery stack and seizing and handful of napkins.

"It's fine," she reassured him, but Leo wasn't listening. He bustled over, face brimming with worry, to offer her napkins and bark orders at the waiters. Honestly, she'd been here when the camp was suddenly attacked (by this very boy, no less); this was nothing in comparison.

A waiter finally made his way over when he noticed the commotion, wiping the table down with hastiness.

"My apologies, ma'am, sir," he said, bowing so low his nose brushed the floor, "The bathrooms are in that direction, if you need a mirror."

"Yes, I should probably fix myself up again," Reyna spoke coolly, glancing at her now spoilt dress. Leo looked utterly distraught, like a child robbed at Christmas time, so she felt rather guilty leaving him to stew in his undoubtedly morose thoughts, "Leo, if you could, order me a Coke – no ice – and the dish you chose. I'm sure it will be delicious."

"Okay," he responded, although it was definitely forced. He looked incredibly sullen – more sullen than Reyna thought he could go – as she strode with whatever dignity she had left into the ladies' bathrooms.

No-one else was around, thank the gods. It was just her, left to her own thoughts and embarrassment. Yes, she had been embarrassed. She was certain that the waiter recognised her – no-one could get around New Rome for so long without at least knowing the general appearance of its leaders. He didn't snigger or look amused in anyway, but Reyna had a feeling that he was probably giggling hysterically now and passing gossip to his co-workers. She felt hot on her face, red with shame.

Why should she feel ashamed? Accidents happen. Leo didn't purposefully knock the vase over – he wouldn't even have nightmares about it. It probably wasn't the first time something so silly could happen. But, it was perhaps her reputation that she felt the need to preserve – high-end, classy, and certainly not the type of person to have vase water flung all over. She couldn't help but desire respect wherever she went, as leaders do desire, and not to be made the fool of.

This thinking really didn't do Reyna any good. She inhaled, held her breath for five seconds, and then exhaled. Calmness and collectedness. It wasn't Leo's or her fault, and therefore, she had nothing to be ashamed of.

Then came the problem of how to dry the dress. Patting it with numerous napkins hadn't worked at all. She still looked like a tramp, coupled with her slightly sweaty forehead and already uneven hair that the Venus children were going to have a frenzy over.

Reyna noticed the electric dryer, tucked in behind large sinks, calling her name. Quick as she could, she held out her dress underneath the dryer and stuck her hand roughly underneath it. The dryer whirred to life, heating the water straight out of the fabric and warming her entire body. In no time at all, her dress was as good as new.

In good timing too, as just as she finished drying, one of the older women from the camp waltzed into the bathroom just as Reyna was making her swift exit.

=#=#=#=

How Reyna did it, Leo Valdez would never know.

Ever since she had made her rapid descent into the Tartarus known as the ladies' bathroom, Leo had been fretting that she would make her escape out of the window and run home-free into the sunset at the Pomeranian Line. Wasn't that what girls did in movies when a date ended so badly?

It had hardly begun, Leo realised, and already he had made five thousand mistakes. He honestly thought this was it and that ordering her food and drink was pointless, yet after only three minutes and nineteen seconds did she make her exit.

And she radiated beauty.

The stain was gone – how, Leo didn't know. Probably woman magic – and the rest of her just looked as stunning as when he'd met her on the cobblestone steps. He was lost for words and his stomach twisted in a fresh bout of nerves again.

She made her way over with a gentle smile, "Hello," she greeted again, taking her seat opposite him.

"Hot- Er, I mean, _hi_," Leo said. The waiter had done a good job cleaning up the extra water and providing more napkins, so the table was practically anew. He couldn't argue with that.

"Did you order?"

"Yep," he said, regaining his cool personality that he reminded himself he had to continue the upkeep of. His mental checklist said so, "The half-roast chicken sweet potato mash on the side. It's lemon and herb flavour; that's okay, right?"

She nodded with a shrug, "We'll have to see, won't we?"

Oh gods, she was halfway threatening him if the food tasted bad. Leo's insides began the long fall into a bottomless pit.

Just in time, the waiter popped around, carrying a tray of several drinks. Leo hadn't taken much notice of it until now, but his hair was slicked back in exactly the same style as his own. Maybe he was copying and trying to steal his girl?!

"Two Cokes for you?" He placed two glasses of the black fizzy beverage by each person, and, after a quick "thank you" from the recipients, nodded as he walked away to serve others.

Leo steadied his hand. He had to be careful when taking a sip, as Coke was infinitely worse water in terms of staining and he didn't want to ruin Reyna's dress – or evening – any further.

He glanced at Reyna peering at the Coke with a hint of dislike. He looked at the drink – did he order the wrong one? It was a harmless glass of Coke with ice cubes bobbing around.

Oh gods. ICE CUBES.

Immediately Leo snapped his fingers and called over the waiter. He was over in ten seconds flat.

"Yes?" he asked.

Leo remained cool, "When I said I wanted extra ice I meant in _my_ glass, not hers."

He looked completely baffled, "Sir..?"

"Yep. If you could take out the ice in her glass, that'd be nice. Thanks dude. I'll tip you."

Was it really that obvious that he forgot? The waiter shrugged, swayed by the mention of a tip, and took both glasses away to obey his order.

"Sorry about that," Leo said to Reyna, who looked like a mixture of confused and impressed, "Waiters. Think they can remember every detail in their heads, every minute part of every single order. They're good, but they slip up sometimes. Delicate people, really. Just have to be gentle with them. Offer them tips."

Reyna giggled this time. That was a start, since before she'd only smiled before (although maybe it was because the joke was so _bad_, but whatever). She looked pretty when she giggled, her perfectly pearly-white teeth on show. At least it was some indication that she was enjoying herself now that the vase incident was out of the way.

Now it was time for something Leo had dreaded the most – _small talk_.

It was the fine art of mastering light conversation that Leo struggled with. He was surprised there wasn't somewhere you could learn this highly sought-after skill, not a book nor a class. If he didn't have his awesomely-great sense of humour, he'd probably not speak at all.

Percy and Jason had let him in on their secrets as much as they could. Leo's mental checklist had consisted of many things – most of which were topics to talk about. Topics that would rivet his date.

The first of which was her camp. Jason had done a grand job of spilling all the Jupiter chitchat and events. Maybe it was the expansion of the Pomerian Line to fit more shops and more houses. Perhaps he could babble about his acute knowledge of the weapons room or the latest War games. The only thing he should avoid were the things Reyna did not have interest in: gossip… and probably Piper McLean too.

So here he went. Leo inhaled deeply before opening his mouth.

"Nice weather we're having."

And he'd gone and thrown his whole checklist out of the window. He was just more than slightly nervous.

Reyna nodded, "Indeed. It's surprising, for this time of the year. October is usually quite rainy."

But Leo knew there was always a way to save his skin: funny jokes.

"I like the rain."

Reyna spoke, confused, "You do? But you're a son of Hephaestus."

"I know, but when it does _Reyn-a _think of you!"

He waited for her to laugh, giggle, smile, _anything_ to suggest that the joke hadn't fallen flat on its face and rolled into Tartarus. Her face only darkened and her black eyes just seemed to turn blacker. Immediately, Leo knew something had gone wrong. _Heinously_ wrong.

"Are you comparing me to a dreary, depressing and gloomy type of weather?" His date tested.

The boy flailed his arms out, "No, no! I was making a pun on your name. Since it's _Reyna_. And it sounds like _rain_," he could feel himself digging a deeper and deeper whole each second he uttered a word, "I wasn't suggesting that you're boring or dull, because you're not. I wouldn't ask you out if you were boring or dull."

=#=#=#=

That was perhaps the sweetest thing anyone had ever said to her.

Reyna didn't think she was the best at conversation. She could talk, yes – quite well, at that – but she always had the niggling feeling inside her head whenever she did suggesting that she was boring. When she did talk, it was always about the War Games or Camp Jupiter or something battle-related. She hadn't attempted to talk about anything outside her realm of expertise since… well, only the gods knew how long it'd been.

Probably didn't help that Jason had split his duties between Jupiter and Camp Half-Blood, and that left her with only Octavian sometimes. You can tell how well _that_ always worked out.

But since Leo had bravely asked her out, she had decided that she was going to try and attempt _not_ to be a bore. Expand her horizons a little. So someone telling her she was anything _but_ dull was a very encouraging thing to hear.

Although he could have been saying it because he was being nice. Half the night they hadn't been talking since she felt like she had spent more time in the bathroom than at the table.

Reyna didn't let the thought dishearten her. Leo was definitely a sweet guy, and she definitely felt something for him. Perhaps it was not as much as she _had_ felt for Jason – yet – but she was willing to try.

"Thank you," she spoke softly in reply to Leo, currently looking anywhere but her, "That's very kind of you."

"No problem," he said, with renewed confidence, "That's just how Leo Valdez rolls. Like a fresh piece of bread straight from the oven."

Reyna couldn't resist a smile. Did this guy go out of his way to prepare an arsenal of bad jokes just to impress her and make her laugh? She found it hard to believe… but at the same time, that was how Leo Valdez rolled (like a fresh piece of bread straight from the oven). And she liked it. He always had a bad pun waiting underneath those greasy sleeves of his.

It was her turn now. He had attempted small-talk. So now she had to think of something Leo loved to talk about.

Her eyes trailed down his body, looking for something in particular (not like _that_!). His _tool belt_; it was absent. She knew how much Leo loved mechanics and tinkering with random objects. She'd had a fair taste of his handiwork when the _Argo II_ bombed her camp. He'd installed Archimedes' Spheres onto it, too – not to mention a motorised dragon supposedly only one person could ever control was at his beck at call. She would indulge him in mechanics.

"Have you been working on anything recently, then?" She threw out the question – maybe a little forced – in the hopes he would start to open up and babble like a buffoon to fill the time. Not that he wasn't already.

He nodded eagerly, "Yes! I've been messing with the _Argo II_ control panel lately – I mean, the Nintendo Wiimote's a bit outdated, so I thought I could upgrade the panel to incorporate the Nintendo Wii U controller – it has a fancy-schmancy screen on it which will be good for checking the ship's vitals. I think Festus will like it; I don't have to translate every click of his metal tongue to understand what the problem is-"

Reyna found it fascinating. Not the whole Wiimote-thing – she didn't understand a word of it – but the way Leo could talk for hours on end on machinery and mechanics. Most men she knew liked to talk about their endless wins in battle or how their muscles protruded from their well-toned chests. She had no qualms with them doing so, but Reyna knew the shapes of their bodies were not their passion. Leo talked about what he really loved to do, tinkering his toys, and he openly shared it with everyone he knew.

He had stopped at some point, watching Reyna with thoughtful eyes. She realised she had been staring at him while wrapped up in her observation musings. She immediately straightened in her seat, and flicked her head to the side.

"You were saying?"

Leo still continued to watch her with heart-wrenching sullen face; she had never seen Leo change from incredibly peppy to morose in less than one minute ever. In fact, she had never seen Leo change from incredibly peppy to morose full stop.

"You're bored of my mechanical babble," he stated, as robotically as his dragon. Reyna felt her stomach drop in guilt.

"No, Leo…" she hesitated; this small-talk was working _oh-so very well_, "Okay, I admit to not understanding much of what you wanted to say. But… But I was just thinking about how at peace you looked, having conversation about something that interests you. It… it pleases me to see you like that."

She looked up at him, scared to meet his eyes, but to her surprise he was turning a cranberry colour. It warmed her like melting chocolate and she couldn't suppress a small smile.

"Really? Well, I-…" he said, a grin erupting on his red face, "I could… I could keep telling you about mechanics, if you like?"

She let the smile take over before leaning onto the table, "Enlighten me."

**=#=#=#=#=#=#=**

Happy-ish cliff-hanger?! GD ARE YOU ILL. Lol :P

Second part ain't written yet my lovely readers, so you'll have to wait a while. I'm thinking I'll try to complete it for PJO Ships Week (thing on tumblr). Leyna week is between the 1st to the 7th of September. What say you?

All reviews, favourites and follows are appreciated with many hugs and internet cookies! And I hope that none of Leo's jokes fell flat on their face.

Thanks for reading!

~ GD

PS. SOM I CAN'T HANDLE IT I NEED TO SEE IT JGVHwGMLLLeflg/

Image by Jackie-lyn on dA. If you wish for me to remove the image, please message me. Thank you.


	2. Chapter 2

Hey, GD is back with the final part of The Disaster Master! Contains lots of fluff (one hopes) to satisfy thy Leyna appetite. Wanted to finish for Leyna week for PJo Ship Weeks on tumblr and I just managed too, woo!

Thanks very much for all of your feedback on the last chapter, it's very encouraging to read and I hope this does you justice!

Please enjoy it!

**=#=#=#=#=#=#=**

Many things were said that Reyna didn't understand. Leo shot off, riding into the sunset of his own mechanical mind, waffling about all of the techno-babble he could produce. And Reyna just watched him, her dark gaze softening, her arms relaxing, only catching odd words as the boy continued. Occasionally he would stop to take a breath, and, Reyna noticed, look her in the eyes. His were a deep brown, like the colour of coffee or tree bark, burning with enthusiasm and desire to impress like she had never seen. He'd promptly turn a bubblegum pink colour before casting his fascinated scrutiny elsewhere and launching off again.

But that was alright to Reyna. It was a strange thing to admit – even stranger for someone of her calibre – but she felt an odd twinge of jealousy when someone else had the luxury of being regarded by him. She wanted to know that his expression of delight behind his glass orbs was present because of her. Maybe that was obsessive, maybe she was being cautious. The girl wasn't sure; she wasn't sure about many things regarding Leo Valdez. He clamped at her fragile heart in ways she thought it couldn't be clamped, not by him.

Leo stopped talking. Reyna tried to bring her mind back to reality – what had he just said?

"Um, sorry?"

"My joke? Did you get my joke?"

Reyna was solid, unmoving. Leo's face dampened. She tried her best to recover from being wrapped up far too much into her emotions, "Wait – no. Could you repeat it? I'm…" she hesitated, "I'm rather slow at understanding jokes."

And Leo grinned; Reyna blew an inward sigh of relief, "Sure," he inhaled, "I was having conversation with Frank earlier. What did I say when Festus broke down?"

Reyna waited, her glance frozen on him as his grin spread across his face like butter on warm toast. The restaurant atmosphere in _Nolita_ just seemed to suck in breath in anticipation – the noises from the other diners muffled as she concentrated on what mattered.

"I said 'I bett-_Argo II_ fix him right away!'"

Her hand flew to her mouth to suppress her giggle. By the gods, that was so awful. So bad it was good, kind of comedy. Leo just chuckled as Reyna covered up her giggle, although her pearly teeth began to flash behind her delicate hand.

"You get it!" he cheered, "You see; you're not that slow."

Reyna wanted to counter that a bridge troll could probably understand the joke. But she didn't say that out loud. He was on a roll (like a fresh piece of bread straight from the oven), and she didn't think it would be good to puncture it. Not when he was grinning so wildly from her understanding his madness it was like he'd won the lottery.

"There are some exceptions," she merely said, between a split smile, "And that was… quite unique."

He chuckled, "I know it's bad. Bad jokes are just my forté. If there was ever a statue made in my honour, it would read 'Leo Valdez –The Gag Guru of Groan-worthy Garbage. Accepted currency is facepalms and headdesks'."

She placed her hand down on the table then, flashing a smile, "And I suppose you get a lot of those?"

Leo's smile turned sheepish, "If facepalms and headdesks were denarii, I could buy this restaurant and a house on the side."

Reyna laughed then. She hated her laugh – one of the reasons why she avoided doing it so much. It was a cross between a snort and a high-pitched squeal. If you hadn't seen it being emitted from her throat, you would have thought a pig was dying somewhere. Leo laughed too – much more masculine, deep, laugh with that edge of a girlish giggle – which covered up hers enough not to be too embarrassed. She did flush a red colour though, ceasing her pig-squealing noises and suddenly finding the table cloth extremely interesting.

Leo quietened, "Your laugh-!"

"Yes, I know," Reyna cut through; a rush of embarrassment knotted her stomach, "It's horrible."

She cast her gaze upwards; Leo was grinning.

"Actually, I was going to say it's really cute," he flushed the same cranberry colour then, "If you don't mind me saying…"

=#=#=#=

The girl tilted her head upwards now, eyes wide, "You find it… cute?"

Leo's face was hot – heat hot – with embarrassment. Was calling a girl's laugh cute a cliché thing to do? Percy and Jason had said, definitely in the top ten things to do, make sure to compliment her on something: her dress, shoes, hair, make-up, general beauty, voice, food taste… whatever worked. Of all the examples they had given, a laugh was not one of them, and he was pretty sure he'd seen at least five romcoms where the guy had complimented the girl's laugh (of which, he was forced sit through… purely for educational purposes, of course).

He tried his best to quell his feelings of cheesy romance and spoke again, "Yeah. I mean… it's a lot more attractive that my laugh. My laugh sounds like a bodybuilder leprechaun lives in my throat."

Reyna snorted with amusement. It was great to see her so open with her feelings, Leo thought idly, as she struggled to keep her face straight.

"Well," she said, regarding him again with those dark-as-night eyes, "Thank you. And I can assure you, you do not sound like a bodybuilder leprechaun."

Leo practically glowed with happiness. He was pretty sure, if he became any happier, something on his person would catch fire. He was about to respond when the waiter came over. A tray of food was balanced perfectly on his hand and he placed the dishes onto the table with no trouble at all.

"Please enjoy," he said, slipping the tray underneath his arm and retracting his hand, "If there are any problems, do not hesitate to call someone over."

"Thanks dude," Leo said, and the waiter wet away on his business. The food he had left was sizzling hot – two half-chickens marinated in flavouring. The scent of lemon trees and herbal plants walloped his senses and sent his tastebuds into a frenzy, hungry to sample. Not to mention the side-dish, sweet mash potato in a little pot, looked so good he could have done with double the portions.

Reyna picked up her knife and fork. She had a delicate hand about her, the way she twirled and the cutlery like a professional ballerina twirls on their feet, which you wouldn't expect… not when she was slicing with a sword and commanding comrades to battle the other half of the time. She bit her lip, exploring the feast with her eyes.

"Does it look okay?" Leo asked.

She smiled, "It looks delicious," she said, gently forcing a fork into one half of a chicken and hauling it onto her plate, "Good choice."

"Great," Leo said, doing the same. The chicken was so hot steam was rising up. Sometimes Leo wished he was that hot naturally. He watched his date cut off a piece and pop it into her mouth, chewing laboriously.

He waited for her to swallow, "So… how does the chicken taste?"

She gave him a look he had never seen on her before – the expression of amazement. Eyes wide, smile curling on her plump lips. He must have matched her own when he watched her.

"It's absolutely delightful," she spoke, cutting another piece, "I cannot believe I haven't seen eaten here before."

Leo tried it too – she was right. It was rather good.

"Oh man, this _is_ delightful," he said, "Now I wish I _did_ have enough dough to buy this place out."

Reyna smiled, covering her mouth with her hand as she spoke, "So do I."

The two were mostly silent for the rest of the meal. The clanging of fork and knife against plate and occasional chomping sound, as well as the subdued chatter of the other diners and soft drumbeat music from overhead speakers, was the only thing that could be heard. That was fine with Leo – it provided him with the opportunity to relax, think of what to say, and, most importantly, enjoy his food. When Reyna reached for her drink Leo would do so too – maybe it was a psychological thing, but it was just to make sure she didn't feel out of place. They'd only speak to pass over the peri peri sauce or the salt.

With each bite, Leo felt like he was floating further and further into sweet paradise. And with Reyna opposite him, he had already been given a boost there. If he ever had the chance to come back here with her, he would.

But that was the thing. He'd already made total pants of half of the things on the date – Reyna may not have wanted a second time of utter catastrophe with this guy. The rule was if a first date goes badly, you don't get a second chance… well, you might, if you were Fortuna or maybe Venus' child. But he wasn't either, so that was out of the question.

It was times like these that he wished he had Piper's charmspeak ability. Then he could have easily recovered from his trouble with smooth pick-up lines or something.

All too soon Reyna put down her knife and fork in finished formation – Leo had been savouring the taste so much that she had cleared her plate and pot of mash, except from the bones. He felt an urgent need to hurry – he didn't want to hold her up. She took the napkin in her hands, gently dabbing her red lips before folding it up and placing it back on the table. Even when she'd just stuffed her face she still looked like a goddess herself.

Then Leo noticed something. Reyna's post-food face-wipe session had missed the hot sauce on her upper lip. It was like a giant mole – except it was red, specked with black bits and protruding from her face like a peninsula on an island.

Reyna stared idly at everything else in the room, oblivious to the hot sauce chunk getting comfy on her skin. Leo panicked inwardly – what was he supposed to do? He wracked his brain – nothing in the mental checklist could have prepared him for this. Did he tell her and embarrass her in front of him or let her walk around and embarrass herself unknowingly in front of everyone?

He decided in a split-second decision that the first one was definitely better, "Um, Reyna?"

She turned to him, "Yes?"

He used his knife to indicate her upper lip, "You have peri peri on your lip."

Without another second to spare, Reyna seized the used napkin near her plate and shrunk in her seat, "Where?" she hissed, her face burning.

"Just below your nose," he replied, using his knife again. Quickly she removed the evidence with three thorough wipes, "Is it gone?"

"Yep," Leo said, as she sighed.

"Thank you," she breathed, "That could have been very embarrassing…"

Leo smiled, hoping nothing was stuck in his teeth, "No worries. But just so you know, you didn't need it."

"… What?"

"You didn't need hot sauce on you because you're already hot."

Only after her face contorted to surprise did her realise how forward he sounded. Calling a woman 'beautiful' would have been far more acceptable than 'hot', which was usually a cheesy way to pick up chicks (great example: Coach Hedge), but then he couldn't have used it in a joke. Maybe he should have just shut up and kept eating?

But she chuckled, dipping her tone to a dangerous (yet oddly appealing) level, "Were you hoping that would happen just so you could say that?"

Leo hadn't actually planned that joke at all – it would have never run passed Annabeth and the other girls as suitable for the occasion. But Leo Valdez rolled with it, with a cheeky smirk, "Maybe."

She laughed again, which, unlike last time, she was ignorant to how it sounded to others. Leo laughed too, trying to cool his pulsing heart. It was beating so loud that he could have joined a marching band.

Reyna's laughter died much earlier than Leo anticipated, slowly dipping into nothing. Leo had to try not to make himself look awkward, quietening until he stopped completely. His date had suddenly turned sombre – like someone had switched off the happy light in her brain. She regarded Leo with a gentle yet solemn gaze, her eyes like black glass orbs reflecting the darkness.

"I'm sorry," she said – which, to be honest, was the last thing he'd expected to come out of her mouth. He thought she might have been offended by the hot joke, "I'm just… just nervous."

"Nervous?" Leo couldn't help but echo, "Why?"

Reyna looked away, "This date, Leo. I'm nervous sitting here with you," she faltered then, "Not that I'm saying you make me nervous – well, you do, but not in a bad way… I mean-…" Reyna was the praetor of the camp, the leader, the idol that inspired hard-work. She probably hauled men into battle crushed the spirits of her enemies on a daily basis; a bundle of nerves was the last thing he'd expect her to become, since she was so sure of herself and confident in her demigod comrades for the rest of the time.

Leo wasn't sure how to reply. Hades yeah, he was nervous too. He thought it'd be difficult _not_ to be nervous on a first date, when you're exploring new things.

"It's okay," he eventually responded with a smile, "I'm… I'm nervous too. I mean, you can probably tell – I dropped a vase on you."

=#=#=#=

"You didn't drop a vase on me," Reyna said back to him, with a weak smile, "It was an accident."

"I know," the boy said, "But I probably wouldn't have done it if I'm not as shaky as I am, hahah."

She didn't reply. Reyna felt that it was good to know that both of them were equally as nervous and that she wasn't alone – even if the majority of the date was almost over. She kind of didn't want it to be over; Leo had a strange appeal to him and his personality.

He spoke again, "I guess I'm a bit like the Titanic, trembling at the bottom of the sea."

She couldn't tell if he was being serious, comparing himself to a sunken ship. Reyna narrowed her eyes, "Pardon?"

Leo grinned, "I'm a nervous wreck."

She laughed. Leo laughed. It was as if neither had anything to hide, as if their nerves had dissolved into nothingness. It made Reyna feel relieved that it wasn't a strange thing to feel, she'd been holding up the walls for so long.

The waiter came over then. He appeared regretful for interrupting their conversation, "Are you finished?"

Reyna held up her plate as Leo did the same, "Yes, thank you. It was delicious."

The waiter took the empty plates gratefully, "Thank you. Would you like the dessert menu?"

She looked to her date for guidance, "I'm full, but you can order something if you like..?" She could see the temptation on his face – no doubt did he want ice cream or something to fill to cracks in his stomach. But he shook his head.

"Nah, I'm good. Could we get the bill, please?"

"Of course," said the waiter, whisking himself away to the counter again.

Reyna stared at him funny, "Don't you want dessert?"

He shook his head again, "Really, I'm good. Besides," he feigned sombreness, "I don't think I _dessert_ it."

After a brief chuckle, Reyna spoke, "How long do you spend writing and memorising these jokes?"

Leo shrugged, "Ages."

The waiter came back over with a tiny, rectangular-shaped tray – a thin and crispy sheet of shiny paper with printed words and numbers, "Your bill."

Leo quickly seized it before Reyna could, she retracted her hand in surprise as he spoke, "Thanks." The waiter went off. Leo didn't look at the bill.

"We gotta' agree on how we're gonna' pay this."

Ah, payment. Reyna understood now. She bent down for her purse, in her bag on the floor, and reached it up so he could see it. Reyna knew that it was traditional on first dates to pay exactly half each, rather than one person paying for their whole share. She could understand why this worked – to be fair to your significant other – and was grateful too. The idea of letting Leo pay for the whole thing just because he was the one that asked the question seemed horrendously selfish.

She regarded him with a cool smile, "Half each?"

He smiled, "You read my mind." But she could tell from that relief in his eyes that he didn't want to pay for all of it either. She clicked her purse open – coins of bronze, silver and gold denarii were wedged into the sides, as much as she could fit in. She saw Leo browse secretively at the receipt before passing it over to her in silence, before he brought out his own wallet.

The price was reasonable. It was cheaper than she expected, and for such nice food it was in fact very good value. She selected the appropriate amount, popping the coins with a tapping noise onto the tray. Leo did the same, and the tray became a little goldmine for the restaurant.

Her date exhaled deeply, "I've put the tip in," he said, with a hint of relief, "Shall we get going?"

"Of course," Reyna went to stand up, bending down for her belongings. When she rose, the waiter was back at their table.

"Thank you very much, sir, ma'am. I hope you have a pleasant-" he froze, "Oh…"

Reyna's insides suddenly flared with nerves. He had the coins in hand but looked doubtful. She stopped, midway pushing her chair behind the table, "What's wrong?"

"There is a foreign currency in here – is that a drachma?" he held it up, a rough and shimmering grey coin with the head of Athena printed on one side and Athena's owl on the other. Leo suddenly went pale.

"Oh my gods, I'm so sorry," he took back the drachma from the waiter's hands, rummaging in his wallet again, "I must have mixed it with the denarii… denarii…" Reyna noticed that he gulped then, his face glowing with hot sweat and his eyes contracting to the size of full-stops in a sentence. He had frozen solid, with only his hands in motion. They searched, more desperately, in his wallet for the denarii that – Reyna dreaded to acknowledge – he didn't have.

Without saying a word to embarrass him, she opened up her purse again and gave the waiter a litter of denarii, "Leo, remember, you gave your extra denarii to me because your wallet was so full. Here-" the waiter accepted it gratefully, "We apologise for the trouble."

Leo just stared at her, stunned. The waiter gave a quick, curt nod, "Thank you, and not at all. I hope you have a pleasant evening." He left the couple, taking the tray of coins with him.

When he was out of earshot, Leo spoke, like a cold whisper, "Reyna-"

"Not here. Outside," she didn't mean to sound so commanding, as Leo flinched and sped outside, dodging the other tables and diners. She followed, weaving in and out of the labyrinth of the _Nolita_ restaurant; she knew that his happy demeanour had just sunken into the lowest pits of Tartarus.

Leo held the door open for her. As she approached, a rush of cool evening air singed at her skin. She shuddered, regretting not bringing some form of warmer clothing. The sky was dark, like drapes of indigo and navy littered with tiny white holes had been sewn across the horizon, and the crescent moon provided a reflected glow over New Rome. Many shops were still open, mostly restaurants, and those that had closed for the night blending and blurring into the background like melting butter onto a pan.

Her date was frightful, she could tell. The shine of his sweat was even more noticeable outside, where the light of the moon gave him a more angelic glow, like cinnamon. His hair, one combed, was now back to its curly and loud consistency on his head – like the mane of a lion.

She smiled, hoping to quell the fear that was obvious on his face. But it didn't go away.

"Reyna," he started, "I'm so, so, _so_ sorry-"

"It's alright, Leo," she said, but he didn't stop.

"I thought I'd converted all of my drachmas into denarii, but apparently I missed a few – oh my gods, how did I miss it? They don't look alike – they don't even _weigh_ alike," he turned slightly more happier, "Of course I'll pay you back. You just tell me how much I owe you and I'll repay you – with interest, if you like. I feel so bad-"

She cut him off, placing a finger to his lips. It was the only approach she thought would work – and it did. He went a bright red.

"Leo," she said firmly, "It's alright."

"No, it's not," he mumbled – his breath was warm against her fingers and sent a tingle down her arm, "It's like the most awkward and _un _-gentlemanly thing on this planet ever to do."

She shuddered then, partly because his lips were soft against her skin, but mostly because she was cold. Her arms back at her side, she was about to launch into a speech as to why she didn't mind when he cut her off.

"You're cold," he said. She saw his breath appear in the air, like puffs of whispy cotton candy.

"Only a little bit," Reyna replied, "But, Leo-" She froze as she saw him, removing his coat. It was black, plain and simple, contrasting with the checkered shirt that he wore, but completed his outfit well. He placed it over Reyna's shoulders, and she could feel the heat rise not only in her body but also on her face.

"That should keep you warm," he said, apparently ignorant of how red she had turned, "Here, I'll walk you home so you can enjoy inside heat instead."

She had to fight to keep her voice in one piece, "What about you? Aren't you cold?" Only after she had said that did she realise how stupid she sounded. Leo chuckled.

"Nah. I'm like a living furnace. The whole 'conjure-fire-from-my-fingertips' thing keeps me warm enough," Reyna could hear the pinch of nervousness back in his tone. He didn't sound so confident in himself anymore, and she missed it.

"Thank you," she said, shivering again. His jacket even smelt of him – a sweet scent she couldn't name that reminded her of a beach, as well as an aftertaste of engine grease. Just how she liked it.

=#=#=#=

The couple walked along in silence, Reyna with her arms wrapped around herself and face hidden from his view. Not that Leo had cared, pretty sure she didn't want him to look at her – he had severed whatever connection they had when he'd been unable to pay up his share. On his mental checklist, it even said, right at the top in screaming capital letters, MAKE SURE YOU CAN PAY. It had been Percy _and_ Jason's first piece of advice, the first thing to be absolutely sure about. And he'd gone and ruined it anyway.

He felt hollow inside, like a black hole had sucked up all his innards and left him feeling nothing. Reyna, luckily, had been sympathetic enough to save him from eternal embarrassment in _Nolita_ and paid up for him (what other choice did she have?), but that was going to be about it. He could picture it now – she would politely decline a second date before avoiding him for weeks and weeks after, never to look at her pretty face again.

When they reached her house – an expansive Roman villa, with wooden window blinds to keep the cold out and a low-lying slanted roof – Reyna removed the coat from her shoulders and handed it back to Leo. Finally, she looked at him in the eyes, smiling.

"Thank you, again," she whispered, before turning her head away, "And thank you for the date."

He took back his coat, flinging it over his free arm, "You're welcome… and I am really, _really_ sorry. I owe you-"

"Indeed, you do," Reyna's expression had changed of one to complete seriousness, like the very strong stone columns holding up wide arches over her front door, "But, instead of repayment in denarii form, I am expecting a time and date for our next outing."

Leo's skin turned cold, and then blisteringly hot in a moment's notice. He spluttered out a reply before he could help himself, "A-another date?"

Reyna cocked an eyebrow, her expression even, "Yes. You do 'owe me', after all. Is there a problem?" She smiled gently then, a little hope in her eyes.

Leo gulped, "No, no, of course not," he said, too overwhelmed to fully comprehend the situation. She… _wanted_ another date? Somehow he had done it – despite the mess he'd made of himself the entire evening she had requested another date. Confusion welled up alongside his triumph.

"It's just…" he spoke again, "I'm surprised you even want to _look_ at me because I bungled so badly – I was a disastrous date…"

But Reyna laughed, puncturing the night silence with her commanding noises. He wasn't sure whether it was good-natured or a snigger, but by the way she looked like she was enjoying herself, he guessed (and hoped) it was the former. Then, to his surprise, she took a step closer. The scent of her perfume drifted into his nose, like a field of flowers, and Leo could swear the fire was crackling underneath the skin on his cheeks.

"Yes, but you do it in a masterful way… it's sort of… appealing," she said, standing on the tips of her feet and whispered luxuriously, "Besides, mistakes often set us on the right path."

Without warning, she pressed her lips against his cheek in the form of a small kiss. They were soft and plump, like someone was massaging him with silk. Sunshine and rainbows and unicorn happiness burst inside his stomach, coursing through his entire body. For five _whole_ seconds this sensation lasted, before she withdrew. Leo was left in a daze; his legs had turned to bags of jelly and his vision blurred.

That kiss was _awesome_.

But then Reyna screamed.

"Oh my gods, Leo! You're on fire!"

She was right. Leo's hair had caught fire. The feeling of overwhelming delight disappeared, Leo yelped in surprise ("Gah! My hair is _on fire_!"), before running around in circles and madly patting his hair with his hands. The fire died out as quickly as it came, leaving only a smoky stench in the air.

Reyna had held her breath, which she exhaled in a shaky motion. Her hands had flown to her mouth, and now she was holding Leo by the arms, "A-are you alright?"

"Oh, yeah," he said, panting hard from the shock, "I'm sorry… Some things just send me into a frenzy… Are _you_ okay?"

"Of course I'm okay!" she protested, going red, "Honestly, my boyfriend sets himself on fire and asks if _I'm_ okay?"

But Leo had ceased all movement, "_Boyfriend_?" he echoed. Reyna, still holding onto him, let go immediately. If she could go any redder, she did.

"Well, yes…" she faltered, "Why? Do you not want to be my-"

"No! I mean – yes, I do, but-" Leo shook his head to free him from his stupidity, "I mean… yes. I'd love it."

Reyna smiled, "Good. But don't you dare even think about pampering me, okay?" She shivered again, "I suppose I'd better be going now."

"Okay," Leo said, letting his disappointment show, before recovering with a smirk, "I guess I'll see you soon, girlfriend?"

Reyna smirked back, "Yes, you will be, Valdez," she said, making her way to her front door, "And I'm still expecting a time and date soon."

"Of course!" she smiled, before the front door shut behind her. The date was over, and Leo was left alone at the front of her house.

He drew in breath before exhaling deeply. Even though he had been late, never eaten there before, spilt water on her, ordered the wrong drink, failed at small talk, rambled about mechanics, embarrassed her with hot sauce and bad jokes, been a nervous wreck and unable to pay for his meal, she still wanted to go out with him again. Even better, they were now… a _thing_. His brain felt like someone had wrapped it up in a cashmere scarf – that fuzzy, pleased feeling that only Reyna could make him feel. His friends would be proud and his mental checklist ticked with the bets point of all – get a second date.

He turned on his heel, back to his place, and clasped his hands together.

"Thank you, Hephaestus for helping me through this. You really pulled through," he said, before dropping his head down in defeat, "And for the sake of my soul, please please _please_ help me with the next one."

_Fin._

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I love all forms of feedback; reviews, favourites and follows are all appreciated!

Hope you enjoyed it! Thanks so much for reading!

~ GD


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